A Fun Afternoon With the Doctor

I’ve known I needed to visit the dermatologist for at least a year. A few places on my face and neck were exhibiting troubling signs. One red mark refused to heal, and occasionally was quite sensitive to my razor. Like too many people, I kept putting off what needed to be done. The excuses were easy and silly. Finally, the smart part of me (tiny as it may be) won out and the appointment was made.

Sitting, waiting in the exam room, I started getting nervous. I answered a few questions for the assistant and was told to strip to my underwear, (good thing I’m completely comfortable standing about in only my boxers. They’re cute, really) and put on a gown.

She informed me I was to get an all over screening. Suddenly I was convinced I had all sorts of skin issues and cancers. Every tiny mark and blemish became larger and more asymmetrical in my mind. I started to sweat.

I really need to relax and tell my brain to shut the %*&# up.

Lucky for me, I have a great skin doctor. Within minutes, he had diagnosed my problem areas (two basal cell carcinoma) and reassured me that I was going to be just fine. I do get to return in two three weeks to have them removed. I hope I get to keep a lovely scar in the end.

The best part of the visit was the biopsy. I adore getting numbed up and having chunks of flesh forcibly removed from my head. On the plus side, I get to walk about town with a giant band-aid on my right cheek. I should take a picture of the wound and share it, right?

 

Summer of Insecurity

The first Wednesday of the month is when the Insecure Writer’s Support Group gathers for our monthly blog hop. Thanks to Ninja Captain Alex Cavanaugh for keeping things groovy and grand.

A bit of drama to begin. It seems I’ve been removed from the list of bloggers (or else my eyes are shot and I’ve missed my blog on the sign-up page), but I’m going to post and link regardless.

If you’re unfamiliar with the IWSG-

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Check us out here- http://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/p/iwsg-sign-up.html

Sign up. Meet neat folk. Talk about your successes and failures.

The chapbook is one poem and two pages away from being a complete draft. Depending on what happens during the edit, I may add another poem, but how things have been constructed, the flow of the text makes me think I’ve reached the end. I’ve already had some amazing input from a few blogging friends, and I can’t thank them enough for their insights and suggestions. It is easy to think I see all the mistakes in my own work, but new eyes readily see what old ones miss. Never again will I underestimate the value of good readers.

I could still use more eyes to read the complete draft if anyone is interested.

Of course, I’m falling into the same old trap- convinced one day that the poems are brilliant, only to feel that are rubbish the next. The harder I work on a project, the longer it takes to complete, the more I’m convinced I’ve failed. Odds are this feeling will never go away, and I need to become better at dealing with it. To my credit, I haven’t trashed the entire document in a fit of despair, but I admit to once or twice wishing  a hard drive crash would take care of things for me.

The Chapbook contest opens in September. I have until it closes at the end of October to edit and get the courage up to submit. I can already see the scene- I hover over the page, unsure if it is ready for submission until finally, in a moment of complete abandon, I click send, only then noticing the glaring spelling error on the first page.

So, enough about me. What’s got you flummoxed or blissful this month?