Old and…

Last weekend, I drove 8 hours from Salt Lake City to Lake Tahoe to attend my brothers bachelor party. I like driving long distances. It calms me, gives me ample time to think. Also, it allows for excellent conversations with travel companions. On this particular trip, it was me and one other fine gentleman, a close friend of two of my brothers. We talked sports, kids, dogs, politics, music, anything that came to mind. The first four hours passed quickly.

After stopping in Winnemucca for gas, my traveling companion crawled into the back seat for a nap. Out in front of me, the road stretched straight and unbending for what seemed like hundreds of miles. I put on some music, made myself comfortable in the seat, and drove. Hours passed. My mind wandered through so many topics, lingering on some for a while, allowing others to slip by almost without a complete thought.

Rhythms of the road.

When I find myself in that state of mind, I can go for hours without stopping. Small towns and cities passed by, and while driving through Reno (oops, I should have exited earlier as we were heading to Stateline, Nevada) was nerve-wracking, I adored the drive.

As for the party, well let’s just say that I am clearly too old for that sort of shenanigans. I love my brother and enjoy spending time with him, but this weekend I felt nervous and out of place most of the time.

At first, things were great. I drank some delicious beers, went on a spectacular group hike where we found a rock formation to summit. From there, the views were stellar. The lake was to our right, a sprawling valley of farms to our left.

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This was my favorite moment of the weekend.

We stayed in an amazing place- three floors and ample bedrooms for all of us (between 12-15 fellows depending on the day). IMG_9422

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All the elements were there for an epic gathering. I can only blame myself for not having an amazing time. Apparently, I’ve become a crotchety old man, always worried about everything. People were too loud, too happy, too drunk, too outrageous, too destructive for my comfort.

Maybe I should have drank more, allowed myself to be buzzed for three straight days, get into the spirit of things, but honestly, most of the time I just wanted to be anywhere else.

That worries me some.

For months, I had been looking forward to this weekend, anticipating the stories we’d have to tell afterward, the craziness we’d create. To then have a continual gnawing in my stomach, an anxiety that grew deeper each day; I have a hard time blaming that on age (even if it is super convenient).

I’ll have to ponder this some more.

The drive home was equally as pleasant as the ride out, and the conversations I had with myself (as my travel companion was exhausted from the weekend and slept for much of the ride) kept me stimulated and engaged. I’m super entertaining, really.

Also, the puppy love I received upon my return was epic.

 

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About fenster

There are some who call me, Tim?

6 responses to “Old and…”

  1. Liesbet says :

    Some of this sounds very familiar. Long drives (whether in the driver’s seat or passenger seat) provide ample time for reflection, thoughts and idea (to write about), or random nonsense. A bit comparable to long night watches on a boat.

    As to your feelings about the weekend, I have noticed myself that I have become less social and less tolerant towards certain behavior these last years. I blame it on age as well, but, honestly, I think it has more to do with our priorities and where/what to put our effort and precious time in. It is OK that we desire different things to make us happy and to be in a situation that does not feel right (I did see the photo you posted on Facebook upon arrival and I understand…), can make one unhappy and prefer to be elsewhere. Nothing bad about that. Lesson learned… 🙂 Sorry you didn’t have a better time.

  2. Ellen @ The Cynical Sailor says :

    I can’t do parties/get togethers like that anymore either. Maybe I’ve become a crotchety old lady. I used to have fun at things like that (or did I think I was supposed to have fun at things like that?), but nowadays I like peace, quiet and solitude mush more.

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