Monkey-Monkey Redux

About 8 years ago, a work friend and I were sitting around, complaining about the sorry state of affairs we were witnessing.  Consumerism, in our superior minds, was the bane of  the universe. In this enlightened state, we (jokingly, really) created our own Manifesto, calling it Monkey Monkey.  Something for the Profit driven, capitalist, competitor in all of us to sell our souls, willingly. 

It was very poorly written. 

I just rewrote it (poorly) again. I hope you find it silly.




And lo it came to pass that The Prophet, Max Power, lay in a state of deep sleep brought on by his boozing, and the Lord Monkey Monkey appeared unto him and gave unto him this manifesto.

The Lord Monkey Monkey appeared, and his visage was like unto that of a golden chimpanzee with eight arms, and he was sitting in the lotus posture. He spoke in a voice like unto the voices of an angry mob, and he said:

Thou shalt follow my prophet, Max Power, and Thou shalt be as the blind led by the blind.

The Great Lie must be spread.

The Great Lie states-Profit and consumption are the purposes of life.

Power comes from believing the Great Lie.

Thou shalt consume Object without compunction, forethought or remorse.

Truth reveals thy neighbor to be thine enemy. He competes with thee for scare resources. He must be defeated for thy success to be manifest.

Truth is illusion created to fulfill the Great Lie.

Thou shalt complicate, not simplify.

Thou shalt behave in a spoiled and selfish manner. This is Freedom.

Thou shalt blame others for thy mistakes and missteps.

Thou shalt be sloth and remiss.

Thou shalt pollute the earth with refuse and poison. This is also Freedom.

Monkey Monkey shall lift thee up, and quarterly give thee a new smart phone.

Want and thou shalt consume.

Consume and thou shalt be successful.

The purpose of possession is to acquire even more possessions. yea, even possessions unbounded.

Thou must have Object!

Thou wilt rent several storage spaces for storing Object.

Be fruitful, make lots of babies, and pollute to thy own content.


And remember my siblings in Monkey Monkey, Power comes from believing the Great Lie.

About Ryan Carty

There are some who call me, Tim?

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